Wives, SUBMIT to your husbands? -- Say what?!?!?

Disclaimer: These posts are for those who are living for Christ or desire to do so. They are NOT for those with a reprobate mind (Romans 1:28). If you desire to receive Jesus as your Lord and Savior from eternal damnation, click here and please message me below when you do ;-)




Shalom to you!  Ever wonder what it really means to be submissive to your husband?  What is the big deal anyway? Do you feel like submission to your hubby is overrated?  


You're missing out if you do!!




Let's start out by looking at what submission is NOT:


*It is NOT accepting / allowing your husband to beat/ slap/ kick/ physically/ emotionally / financially  abuse you in ANY way! Even if he apologizes and buys you some type of gift or does something "special" for you afterwards - IT IS NOT GOD's WILL FOR YOU TO HURT IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM!  Please seek help if this is happening in your marriage by praying to Jesus for revelation of what true love is and click here. I pray that your heart and eyes are opened to the truth of Jesus's agape (unconditional) love and that you seek Him above all else for help -- He will not tell you to stay in an abusive relationship! If you truly love yourself and your hubby, seek help -- get out of the volatile situation and pray that your husband also seeks help for himself. No one can rescue you from your situation unless you seek help just like you can't rescue your husband from the demons that are attacking him unless he wants and seeks help on his own accord.  


*It is NOT being afraid of/ scared of/ terrified of/ controlled by your husband. If you are too afraid to talk to your husband about things that are of great concern to you and your marriage you should analyze the situation to pinpoint the root of the problem and pull it  up by the roots!  Maybe he never listens to you and whenever you bring something up he just dismisses your opinions and says things that create the atmosphere of insecurity and inferiority in your life. Or maybe you are so insecure that you are too afraid on your own accord to talk to him even if he has done nothing to make you feel the way you do -- you may be experiencing hurts from your past that you have carried into your marriage. Whatever the root is, it must be cut off at the root. FEAR is dangerous. It leads to so many other problems (sins) in your life --and in your marriage it will stifle the flow of communication that fosters any chance of growth and intimacy. Remember, "There is no fear in love (dread does not exist)--but perfect (full-grown, complete) love casts out (eradicates, turns it away and expels it) ALL fear, because fear causes torment (stress, disease, the thought of punishment). But he who fears has NOT been made perfect (full-grown, mature) in love" (1 John 4:18). Yes, your husband may have issues, but you have to make sure that your issues (sins) are being handled (forgiven) by the Father in heaven. More info on how to help your hubby shortly.


*It is NOT committing sins and crimes in order to "keep him happy" or "save our marriage". If your husband is demanding / requesting/ aggressively suggesting / threatening you to do things like have a threesome with another woman or man, have an orgy, 'research' the swinger lifestyle, engage in pornography -- anything that involves inviting others into your intimate marriage bed is NOT of God and you DO NOT have to do it -- in fact you shouldn't do it!!  If your husband commands you to engage in crimes, this is not of God! Your submitting to sin is NOT the same as the submission God requires in the Bible. None of these things will change your marriage or your husband's perception of you for the better no matter how convincing he makes it sound. 


*It is NOT allowing your husband to have 'girlfriends' and mistresses in exchange for having access to living a lavish lifestyle -- period. You are more valuable than money in God's eyes and that should go for your husband  

Submissive (in the dictionary) is defined as "Inclined or READY to submit (Yield), unresistingly or humbly obedient. As wives, we are to yield to the direction of our husbands as long as it does not conflict with the Word of God. They have been placed by GOD as the head of the household. We have been placed by GOD as the helpers (we perform the act of giving what will benefit or assist; aid / coadjutor / we hold an auxiliary position in the marriage and assume some of our husband's responsibility.)  If you look at your marriage from a business standpoint, we wives are essentially the Executive Assistants to our husbands --the CEOs -- and as husband and wife, we both sit on the Board of Directors and report directly to the Father God --the Owner/ President! We must know and respect our role and be willing to perform it. Take pride in your role as the wife and cease from trying to 'wear the pants in the family' and control everything -- this is disrespectful to your husband and to God, really. Same for husbands who do not step up to the plate and exercise their headship in the way God intended-- it works both ways. 

I believe there is a reason why the word 'wife' is mentioned 373 times in the Bible (amplified) compared to the word 'husband' being mentioned 147 (less than half). The gravity of our roles is something to be respected just like our husbands roles. Our husbands have a lot of LARGER tasks but we wives have more than double SMALLER tasks -- all which work together in harmony to keep the 'company' (marriage) operating 'in the black'  (making a profit). 1Corinthians 11:11-12 says it this way, "Neither is man independent of woman, nor woman independent of  man in the Lord. For as woman came from man, even so man also comes through woman; but all things are from God." You want to make sure that your marriage is ranked in the Heavenly Fortune 500!  

But what do you do when your husband is not doing the will of God and your business (marriage) is floundering (possibly headed toward divorce)???

YOU MUST MOVE UNDER THE DIRECTION OF THE HOLY SPIRIT, BE QUIET & PRAY! 

Yes, this may be hard because you may not 'like' your husband very much right now. But you must be honest with God about this and surrender to Him all of YOUR hurt, anger, bitterness, etc that YOU are feeling, ask Him to renew YOUR mind and spirit and heal YOUR heart aches,  ask Him to help YOU see YOUR faults in the situation (if any) and ask for forgiveness; ask Him to flood YOUR heart with His love and joy for your husband-- then (and only then) pray blessings over YOUR husband, pray that the Lord reveals to him where he has faltered and sinned and that his heart is convicted and softened in the area(s) of concern!  See how much of a vital role YOU play in the 'business' of your marriage?! But your heart has to be in the right place. Remember, you do have value. You are needed (even if you don't feel that way right now). Proverbs 31:10-12 tells us this: 


"Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life."


Your role as a virtuous wife is one to be cherished. Being submissive comes with the territory.


Submission is LOVE! Submission is being obedient and loving even through the hard times. Submission is praying to the Father when you are unsettled by a decision your husband made instead of arguing back and forth (asking and allowing God to change your husband's heart and give you revelation and understanding at the same time about the situation). TELLING YOUR HUSBAND WHAT A TERRIBLE 'MISTAKE' HE MADE IS NEVER A GOOD IDEA! You must approach every situation with wisdom and respect. You must discern when to just shut up and pray. Using the term "I'm just being honest / blunt / real with my husband when I tell him such-and-such" is not cool.  Sometimes, women talk too much and that term is just an excuse to tear a person down with words that are unkind and hurtful even if you feel it is for their 'own good'! Proverbs 29:11 says:  "A FOOL vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back." Don't be foolish, ladies, even if everyone else does it! If what you speak is not done under the direction of the Holy Spirit, it will crash and burn on deaf ears anyway! Our words should edify, not stab our husbands'  hearts with daggers! Ecclesiastes 5:2 says: "Do not be rash with your mouth, and let not your HEART utter anything hastily before God. For God is in heaven and you on earth; therefore let your words be few."  Again I say -- shut up and pray! God will tell you when to speak and when to be silent.  Besides, you miss out on the opportunity to allow God's joy and love in your heart and life when you are not submitting to your husbands! 


Side Note:
*If you are especially bogged down by your marriage due to a seemingly unloving husband, in addition to prayer, I like to suggest that journaling is a great way to communicate your troubles to God, being sure to 'cast all your cares upon Him for He careth for you' (1Pet 5:7) and be COMPLETELY HONEST WITH GOD -- this is key. There are times when I was journaling and almost omitted something or 'sugar coated it'. Then God reminded me -- HE KNOWS EVERYTHING ANYWAY! Being completely honest with God is so key. I always get answers from Him when I journal and I feel so much better because sometimes God will just let us 'vent' and then He shows us the right way to go afterwards! 


So ladies, show your husbands the respect they need, love with your whole heart, stay in constant communication with the Father, and lovingly submit to your husbands - you honor God by doing so. Get your marriage in the Heavenly Fortune 500 hall of fame!